It’s been 7 months

On February 2, 2018 I had a biopsy that proved I had a 2.1 cm neuroendocrine tumor on the head of my pancreas.  My family was so relieved that I didn’t have adenocarcinoma, which is the deadlier form of pancreatic cancer.  But I couldn’t help crying…. I didn’t want any form of cancer!  But I had pancreatic neuroendocrine cancer and it was confirmed.  Further CT scans and bloodwork showed that it had already metastasized to my liver.  Really?  I had gone to the doctor because of severe acid reflux and this is the dx?

But as I think back over the past couple years, I had warning signs that I didn’t pay attention to.  One was fatigue.  I simply have not had the energy that I used to have.  Walking 10,000 steps seemed way too hard for me.   I had horrid acid reflux,  waking up nearly every night in pain.  I had dark circles under my eyes.  I had GI issues – everyone with PNET knows what I mean by this.  And sometimes my heart raced and I would faint.   I also had severe anxiety.  I felt so afraid for my future and I didn’t know why! The reason wasn’t because I have ESP (although I do believe I do have ESP!).  The anxiety was because I have these little buggers in my neuroendocrine system that have planted themselves in the pancreas and liver.  On top of that, these little pests started pretending that they WERE my pancreas and began spewing out all kinds of hormones that were messing with my health, mind and body.  One of them is serotonin.  I have always been accused of being cheerful, so that wasn’t as much of a surprise.  What WAS a surprise is that my pancreas began manufacturing VIP (vasoactive intestinal peptide) which can cause, among other things, major anxiety and the other symptoms I was suffering.  On top of that, my VIP is extremely rare, as in 1 in 10 million!  That means approximately 35 other people in the USA have what I have.  Really?shareasale.com, Earn Cash!>

On March 2, 2018 I had 2 liver tumors the size of golf balls microwaved out of my liver.  Then 7 months ago, on March 23, 2018 the big day came to remove the tumor from my pancreas, also golfball sized.  I went in for the whipple but came out with an enucleation.  Even so, the recovery was difficult especially because painkillers make me nauseous.  Over the next few months I had infections, scans, bloodwork, more nights in the hospital, more bloodwork, more scans,  pain under my ribs, pain rolling over, more procedures, more scares and more and more scans.

I also found out who my friends are.  I never realized, not really, how many people that I care about and that obviously care about me.  So many people offered to help and I always said yes, thank you!  Meals, pj’s, flowers, candy, phone calls, visits… you name it.  I have the most amazing friends.

Join shareasale.com, Earn Cash!

And then there is my family.  My beautiful little grandson was born just 2 days after my surgery.  He has sparkling eyes and the personality to match!  My 4 grandchildren are the light of my life.  I cannot imagine life without them!

My husband and our kids really stepped up for me.  They were there for me in every way possible and still are.  How lucky am I?

This is why I wanted to post today.  It’s been 7 months since I was opened up and had the rest of the tumors removed from my body.  The cancer is gone for a while.  I have learned to be grateful for this disease that has invaded my body that will never really go away.  I have a nodule on my liver right now that is being watched.  The docs have told me I have a spot on my lung that may or may not be related.  Pancreatic neuroendocrine cancer is nasty stuff and likes to spread.  It’s stage 4 – gulp.  But I have actually never been happier.  I know who my ‘peeps’ are… just so many…. and that I can really count on my family.  How lucky am I?

I know for sure that every day is a gift.  I think about each day as it stretches ahead of me.  What will make me happy this morning, this afternoon, then this evening?  When I go to bed I think…. well that was one for the books.  A very good day, then week, then month… and now 7 months.  I feel so well and I feel very blessed!